Day 134…

7.30.12

It’s Monday and it needs to start with a BIG HAPPY BDAY to my Mom!!  There is no way I can ever put into words how much she means to me, and how big of an influence, rock and friend she is to me, but let the worst secret in the world be known – I love my Mom and wish her the very best of birthdays!

Heading to my early morning pulmanory test to see how the reduction of the bleo is effecting my lungs, if at all…test went well I assume, but the technicican didn’t say anything to me really that would lead me to believe one way or the other.  I think my doctor must have said something to her in advance due to the mix up in information from the last test…I have not felt any difference in my breathing or my heart-rate for any exercise that I have been doing, so I’m hoping that things have stayed static or have improved…making my way to my garage and my car and off to work I go…thankfully there is very little traffic this morning so I ended up at work (with coffee in hand of course) at my normal arrival time…maybe this is the sign of a good day to come…

Since it is a Monday, it is obviously going to be a busy day.  My boss is on vacation for two weeks so there is plenty to do and plenty to make sure gets done….meetings, emails, calls are all on the agenda for the day….

Lunch time…had to make something here because we were ordering from a sandwich shop and I am still banned from those —- so soon I can rejoin the ranks of eating great food!…

Afternoon is moving along well and I just found out that Obama is in town today and not far from my office AND they are closing the FDR.  This should make for an interesting ride home…whatever it is, it is…

Heading out, fingers crossed on traffic….and my prayers were answered…I got lucky, they reopened the FDR right as I was leaving work so my ride home was quick and easy…

Supposed to see my friend Jess later, but she just texted to tell me that she had an apartment flood.  I feel terrible for her.  Apartment issues just suck.  Rent or own, it is just such an inconvenience…

Making chicken, quinoa and brocoli for dinner and going to relax at home, catch up on some DVR, watch some Olympics etc…Riley is totally crazy tonight – she just has that look in her eye…going to see if I can get her to calm down and relax…finally got her relaxed and it is time for us both to get some rest…

Night all…

Day 133…

7.29.12

Sunday has arrived and it is just as rainy and overcast as Saturday was.  At least we managed to make yesterday fun, which means that I imagine we will do the same for today…doing some reading this morning before the rest of the house rises and then it is time for breakfast (standard fare of bagels, fruit and coffee)…

Everyone is milling around the house and figuring out what, if anything we can do in this weather…seems like the general consensus is that we are still more or less confined to the house…so it is…more board games to entertain us before lunch and then an early-ish trek home…

Great lunch of burgers, corn and two different salads – all which makes me a happy and a full man…getting my stuff ready and off we go back to NYC with the usual stop for gas along the way…traffic is pretty light which is a surprise given the weather, but then again, not long after we left the sun decided to come out – go figure…

Home, hanging with Riley and figuring out what to eat for dinner.  All signs point towards eggs – again.  Think I’m going through a phase…to the couch I go for some Olympic watching and then Newsroom and sleep…

Need to be up early tomorrow for another pulmonary test, so I want to be as rested as I can be as it is the last one before all of the treatments are over and we will see how the elimination of the bleo is effecting my lungs – if at all…

Night all…

Day 132…

7.28.12

After a so-so night of sleep I wake up to a very rainy outside.  Looks like it could be one of those days where it just is overcast.  Keeping my fingers crossed that isn’t the case, but I guess we will have to wait and see how things play out…I feel pretty good today, still a bit on the groggy side, but I think that is just a function of the new meds I’m taking at night that put me in a deeper sleep.  I know I mentioned that earlier in the week, but now that I have a few more days under my belt with them, I think that I can draw the conclusion that is likely how things will play out for the remainder of the treatments…

Going to pickup some bagels and then make some egg sandwiches and relax as the rain is not stopping at all…just hanging around, playing board games (Apples to Apples, Catchphrase), reading my book and just staying occupied…

With the blink of an eye it is already the afternoon….think this means that it will be a late lunch/early dinner type of night…we are cooking up a proverbial feast of lobster (which I can eat), clams and oysters (which I can’t and wish I could), veggies, salad, apple pie and ice cream — it’s gonna be really good.  Yep, sure was…watching a few random Olympic events and then back to the board games we go…

Fun night caps off a fun day – all of which the rain really never gave up…

Bed time…night all…

Day 131…

7.27.12

Well, well, well, look what we have here, it’s FRIDAY!  Who doesn’t love this day?  Awake, but groggy, though ready for the day to begin and then the weekend to follow…not much traffic this morning and an easy drive keeps me ready to see what the day has in store.  Picking up my usual coffee and into the office I go…

Going to be another busy day, but that’s ok – I would always rather be busy than not.  There is plenty to do and we are moving the day along with meetings and such.  Not in the mood for pizza for lunch (I know, hard to believe, right?), but then again, I know that I’m going to eat leftover pizza from my fridge before making the drive out to LI tonight.  Off to get some tasty chicken from Spoon…

Lunch was good, but I’m still hungry.  I am still just amazed that in the 131+ days thus far, I can count on 3 fingers the amount of days that I have not really had any type of appetite.  I’m incredibly fortunate in that manner to have my appetite and to not have lost any weight thus far…Going to find something to snack on and continue to make my way through the day…boo, looking at the weather forecast for the weekend and it calls for rain on both days – maybe we will dodge it – gotta stay positive…

Wrapping up the day and heading home to pack up, have some food and then start the weekly trek to the beach…managed to make it to LI with very little traffic for a Friday night and that definitely puts a smile on my face…

Off to relax and get some rest…

Night all…

Day 130…

7.26.12

It’s back to work today for me and I’m up early for an 830 meeting in the office.  I slept relatively well with the new mix of meds, but I am starting to see that it is tough to get out of bed because I’m actually in a deeper sleep than I have been since February.  Need to figure out how to best manage and approach that with the days that I’m going to be in the office because I do not want to be groggy while here…traffic was a breeze this morning and with coffee in hand, into the office I go…

Very good meeting to start the day, got a lot accomplished and now I’m diving into things and taking advantage of being physically in the office…great to see my co-workers as always and the morning is moving along rather quickly…getting hungry for lunch and thankfully we didn’t have to wait too long for it today…very satisfying lunch (chicken with veggies and rice) and now to a very busy afternoon of meetings…

Getting tired so I’m going to pack up for the day and head home…really looking forward to some time on my couch and hanging with my pup…there is apparently a really bad storm heading our way, so I think I’m going to hunker down in the apartment, watch some LOST and get some rest…

Took Riley for her last walk just as the storm was making its presence known, so it was a quick walk and back home we went…made an egg sandwich for dinner and now just relaxing on the couch…Riley seems a little spooked by all the thunder and lightning so she is not moving from my side (and there are no complaints from me on that!)…

To bed I go and it’s only 915…not going to lie, really looking forward to early sleep…

Night all…

Day 129…

7.25.12

Waking up after some of the deepest sleep I’ve had in a long time, which makes me happy, but I’m feeling a little groggy from the meds.  So it is, tradeoffs with the meds – they never seem to leave me!…taking Riley out for a walk and showering before Laurel comes over for our Wednesday breakfast.  Today we are going greasy, which I can’t wait for – bacon, egg and cheese with a side of tater tots.  Gonna be soooo good….and yes, it was!  Wednesday breakfasts have fast become a favorite of mine…

Laurel left to go pick up her daughter at camp and I’m now relaxing on the couch, computer in hand and checking in on work emails and such…making a quick lunch and then deciding what to do the rest of the day…think I’m going to just hang around the house and relax, go for a walk etc…

Resting up, on the computer, hanging with the pup…getting hungry and waiting on my friend Jake to arrive for dinner who I haven’t seen in a while…really good to catch up with him and take my mind off of things for a bit…

Very tired…off to bed I go as I have to be up early for a work meeting tomorrow…

Night all…

Day 128…

7.24.12

Tuesday is here and it is a day that I tend to welcome with open arms as I figure it just has to be better than chemo-Monday…waking up, still nauseous, but going to shower and see if that helps things out…My Mom is insisting that I eat breakfast and although I’m hungry, I’m really not hungry for anything specific – much like yesterday.  Going to see how some toast treats me….so far, so good…

Hanging in the apartment with my Mom waiting for Becky and Ethan to come by and then grab a quick lunch so I can get some fresh air (and to also pick up some new pills at the hospital)…by the time we leave the apartment, I feel like I have my real appetite back, so I’m ready to have a big lunch (which ends up being a huge turkey burger and fries)…

Walking back from lunch and the effects of the new pills have taken hold and I feel worlds better…so the new pills are called Maranol, which if anyone chooses to look up they will see that they are meant specifically for people that are having very bad nausea or lack of appetite.  The pills also provide a side effect of feeling good – mentally.  Look it up, it’s an interesting read.  That’s all I have to say about Maranol…

Back at the apt, talking to my Mom for a bit and off to NJ she goes. I’m going to continue to catch up on some work emails and then lay down for some much needed LOST episodes and some quiet at home…

Hanging with the pup, Blitz stopped by for a quick visit…now I’m making some dinner and just relaxing…

Time for bed…

Night all…

Day 127…

7.23.12

2.

That is the number we will be at come the end of treatment today – now all I have to do is make it through it today.  The usual anxiety of the night before meant that I didn’t get a great sleep, but it was to be expected.  We are up and headed to the hospital for my standard blood draw, meeting with my doc and then the chemo…

Doc seems to still be very confident and encouraging, so that arms me with confidence for the chemo today…they’ve just called my name and today Rose is my nurse – who is one of my favorites.  She is just a very nurturing and wonderful nurse.  My hope is that it bodes well for the administration of the chemo and the days ahead…

Ok, no sugar coating here – I feel like SHIT.  For some reason the chemo and I today are agreeing far less than previous rounds.  I almost vomited in the hospital and am very very nauseous as I head home…changing into my comfy clothes and laying on the couch – not even hungry in the slightest.  Apparently the reduction of the “B” isn’t a guarantee that I’d feel as well as I did the last round…I know I should eat, but I can’t even think about it without getting more nauseous…

I’m heading to lay in my bedroom – something that I really haven’t done since this started and something that I really never wanted to do.  I equate my bed to sleep and I don’t really think I’m going to fall asleep, but the comforting nature of the bed is the draw right now, so off I go to lay there, turn on the tv and pay really no attention to it.  The best part is that Riley won’t leave my side.  Dogs definitely know when you aren’t feeling well and this pup is attached to me.  I just love having her…

My whole family is here and catching up on the day.  They are preparing dinner.  My Dad has come to hang with me in my room for a bit while dinner is being prepared which is uplifting.  Mom and Jordan are also popping in to make sure I’m ok while dinner cooks.  I’m doing my best to put on a strong face, but like I said before, today really really sucks.  Today is a day that I can tell you all that I hate this.  That it is miserable, and that I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone, whether I like or dislike them.  I have great empathy for those that have harsher treatments and longer treatments than I…

It’s dinner time and I’m really just going to go to the dining room to be with my family, rather than try to eat.  Nothing is appealing to me.  All I’ve had today is half a bagel and half a smoothie.  I know this isn’t close to enough, so I’m forcing myself to eat some rice.  It isn’t necessarily agreeing with me so I’m laying on the couch while my family finishes up…time for dessert and to no ones surprise, that is actually appealing to me :)  so I’m going to have some Ben and Jerry’s chocolate fug brownie frozen yogurt and a cupcake.  This is the most that I’ve had to eat today, even though not necessarily healthy, it’s sustenance…

I’m exhausted and still terribly nauseous.  Taking my nightly pills and heading back to my bed.  It’s still early, but I think I’ll try to not fight it anymore and just hope I can sleep through the night…

Here’s to tomorrow hopefully being a better day…

Night all…

Updated count:

Josh 10, Chemo 2

Day 126…

7.22.12

It’s Sunday and I’m up and awake, although I could have used a better night of sleep considering how tired I was from my round of golf yesterday.  So be it, if I’m up, I mine as well make the most out of the day…letting Riley run like a lunatic in the backyard, and now I’m contemplating a run of my own.  To me, it has been too long since I’ve run (I think it’s been a week or two) and since I didn’t buy new running shoes for no reason, and being that I feel ok, I say, lets do it!  This will be my weekend of tossing cancer aside and showing it that it can’t keep me down –  two consecutive days of exercise here I come!…

It’s beautiful out, very few clouds, but it is already warm at 915am…running a somewhat hilly course, so it is definitely hard on the body, but I did run faster than I have in recent runs (likely because I wanted to see how much I could push it)…overall, felt pretty good and am back at the house and cooling down…going to make a smoothie for breakfast and get some good nutrients in the system…it’s all about the probiotics (or so “they” say)…

Watching the collapse of Adam Scott at the British Open as we are gearing up to head back.  We are leaving on the early side today so we can be back in the city in time to have dinner with Kenny and Jess since he is in town for work this week – but this is the only time that I could possibly see him.  Soooo, it will be a big ‘family’ dinner of the 4 Lites, the 3 Gantman’s and Jess.  Very happy to see Kenny and Jess and even happier to see how happy they are.  Glad to know my boy is in good hands.  They just better move back to NY sooner rather than later…

Back at the apt, hanging with my mom and Riley…time to give her the last walk of the night before Sunday TV starts…True Blood was ok and sadly the same for Newsroom.  Seems like they both had an off week.  Guess that is just how it is sometimes…

Off to bed and some hopeful sleep as the night before treatment tends to not treat me well from a sleep perspective…

Night all…

Tomorrow the post starts with 2!

Day 125…

7.21.12

Well, it was quite a night here at the house.  Around 130am, every alarm in the house started going off and the computerized voice that yells at you from the keypad was screaming “Fire! Leave the house immediately! Fire! Leave the house immediately!”.  Obviously, this is no way to be woken out of a sleep, especially at 130 in the morning.  Everyone was sort of disoriented and calm – including Riley.  Reason why you may ask?  Well last summer we had the same sort of issue where all of the fire alarms in the house malfunctioned at the same time and we were up for 4 hours trying to turn them off as the prior alarm company wasn’t able to control or monitor them.  We fixed that situation, and after talking to the alarm company, this malfunction was simply a battery that died and it triggered the alarm.  In the end, it was definitely an annoyance, but you can’t be too careful, so I have no problem with an alarm company alerting us that a battery has died…back to sleep I go before a 615am wake up to get ready to play golf…

Stu and I are on the road bright and early for the 45min drive out to Montauk to meet up with two of his friends and then hit the course.  I am really happy and excited to be playing as it has been a while, and this is one of my favorite courses, albeit one of the harder courses one can play.  After a day of rain, the sun is shining and the course is in great shape.  Off to the first tee we go…BOOM! straight down the middle.  Yep, birdie on 1 for me.  We can only go downhill from here from a scoring perspective….played pretty well on the front 9 and struggled on the back from the difficulty of the back as well as the fatigue that started to set in on me as I haven’t played a full 18 in a long time.  In the end, could not have been happier to be out and playing.  Stu posted the low for the group of and we all depart Montauk Downs happy campers…

Driving back and starving, so that logically means a stop at Espresso for sandwiches (it’s 2pm and we haven’t eaten lunch and had a 836 tee time – pretty sure you can all imagine the hungry we have)….picking up lunch for us and the house and even just the smell of the food in the car makes me want to pull over and eat it right there…

Back, eating and relaxing…heading out to the pool to lay under the umbrella and take a little cat nap…time to shower up before making dinner…tonight I’ll be making my famous burgers, some grilled chicken breasts and legs and some ribs and grilled veggies.  Seems like a lot of food to consume, but we are a hungry bunch and I’m happiest at the grill…finishing up dinner and it is past 10…I’m not even going to pretend to try to watch TV downstairs with everyone as I’m exhausted and I’d ilke to try to get some sleep so that I can possibly go for a run tomorrow before we head back to NYC…

Night all..